Update on Life

I've been hesitant about updating on our lives because it honestly drains me to tell people over and over again that I'm still jobless.  I deal with a lot of insecurity in this area since Janurary pretty much.  But this morning, God is giving me hope when the world says how could I have hope. 

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  [Isaiah 40:31]

Well to put it plainly, I've been weary.  Ben and I have been through more than I could of ever imagined in our first year of marriage, and it's still not over.  Talk about going through the fire!  Well about a month ago I finally thought it was the end,  I found a nanny job that was going to pay decent and definately help us with our finances and even save a little bit each month.  This wasn't the ideal job since I have a degree that I'm still paying off loans for as an X-ray Technologist.  But it was the next job I would love to do since I wasn't getting much response on all my job applications for x-ray tech.  So I was excited, and even more excited that finances wouldn't be the big burden on Ben and I anymore. 

So I was supposed to start my new full time nanny job between this week and next.  Well this past Friday I got an unexpected email.  They changed their minds, not because of me, but other reasons, which I understood.  But at the same time it was hard because this was a promised job to me, that being, Ben and I bought a second car.  Well Friday morning wasn't the greatest.  I was back at square one- anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, confusion, all the negative emotions you can imagine washed over me.  HOW CAN I NOT GET A JOB?! I kept asking myself that, I just didn't get it!! The only thing that has given me a little peace is that this economy isn't good, but at the same time I knew other people were getting jobs that I have applied for and was qualified for, but no open doors for me. 

It's definately hard in times like these not to compare yourself to other people and their circumstances or their life that seems so great and blessed.

Well anyways,  I have an awesome husband, who only encourages me.  He has wrote many scriptures and put them on my mirror so when I look in the mirror that is what I see.  Definately a help to me.  That's all I have at this point, is the word of God, the promises of God, the love of God. 

However, I still have a hard time seeing what God is doing.  But I believe if it's soon or later, his faithfulness is going to show in our lives by a big testimony in our finances.  Money isn't everything, we don't need a lot, but we do need finances to cover our bills, and I'm not seeing that right now. We will remain faithful to Him in our lives and finances, because that is what we are called to do!

On the other hand, Ben is doing great.  He works 2-3 days at a local UPS store doing customer service and the other 4 days a week with our Church.  He loves his job at the Church.  We lead the youth on Wednesday nights, and he helps lead worship on Sunday mornings.  Also now he is going to be helping with some media and creative stuff too.  He loves being apart of an awesome team. 

Apart from being apart from our family and friends in KS and MI, we love this new area.  God has given us some amazing friends our age and we get such joy out of fellowshipping with them.  We are excited to see these friendships grow. 

I am definately ready for fall, I do miss Michigan for that.  They have pumpkin patches here but I don't think Cider mills. BOO. that's my favorite thing about fall, cider and donuts!  Maybe my parents will have to bring some when they come in October!! ;)

Well I will keep you updated.  I'm sorry this blog is so long, haha People might of not even made it this far, but it definately helps me get my thoughts out and put things into perspective and I love to share when God is doing something in our lives.

We covet your prayers for our family.  and Thank you to those have been such an encouragement to Ben and I as this 1st year of marriage has been way different than we imagined.

Today I hold onto this verses..
[Proverbs 3:5-6]
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."


\/awesome song about Hope!
http://youtu.be/x7fwCkAGACE